#114 | Birth Story Mini: Airbnb Birth After Crossing International Borders

Hi friends. My name is Nicole Neesby and I live in Ensenada, Mexico with my family. And just about three months ago, we left from our home here in Ensenada and came across the border up into San Diego, so that I could give birth to our fourth baby. And we actually did that in an Airbnb. So it was my fourth home birth, I've had all three of our kids at home a little bit actually a backstory, my mom as well, I'm the oldest of seven children and my mom had myself and my first two siblings after me in the hospital. And then she decided to make to start looking into home birth. And then the four youngest of my siblings were all born at home. And so that was 25 years ago, 27 years ago, and my mom invited my sister and I to be able to watch and be part of those births. So for me growing up from a very young age, watching home births happened was really what was normal for me. And I really carried that into my birthing experience as I got married. And we started thinking about a family. And so my first three kids, my first two boys were born at home in our house in Iowa, and a really small town in the Midwest. And I did waterbirth for both of them. And then we moved out to San Diego and our first daughter Lakeland was born in our rental house in San Diego. And a few years after that, we transitioned and moved across the border down here to and sanada, Mexico. And when I got pregnant, I definitely knew that having a home birth and continuing with that part of like my birthing story was really important to me even living in Mexico and you know, things just being different here. homebirth is not common. Here, it's very common for people to give birth in the hospital, the C section rate is very high. And I just definitely became really tenacious, I guess you could say in wanting to seek after and to make intentional choices for the home birth experience that I knew that I wanted with our fourth Baby, I think that's something really important for moms to know is it's okay to search around and look for the different options that you have available in your area or just to be creative and to seek after that birth experience that you're desiring and to not have to know I think my personality at least is it's easy for me to kind of just oh go with the flow or just whatever makes everybody happy around me. But I have learned in my, in my three prior births. It really, I guess, propelled me into really being intentional to seek after that birth experience that I was really desiring. So we interviewed the one midwife that was here and she was very sweet, very kind person. But as I was just interviewing her and kind of figuring out what the options would be and how a home birth would go here in Mexico, I just really came to the realization my husband and I both It was like, Oh, this is just not a good fit for us. It might be great for other people, but for us, it's not a good fit. And so just having that confidence and tenacity to just be like, okay, like, that's great. I am just this is not the path we're choosing to go we're going to look into other options. So because I had had our first daughter Lakeland, in San Diego, the midwife, part of the midwife team that I have used with lakelands birth, she had her own practice in the San Diego area and had a new partner and I just knew that I had such an amazing birth experience with my first daughter. So the first birth I had in San Diego and I was just like, Oh, I want to, you know, it would be so amazing to be able to have Kelly at my birth again. And so again, I went and we just like interviewed her and kind of checked out what our options would be figured out that we could do a long term rental for an Airbnb in San Diego. And that's what we decided to do. We got our Airbnb on April 1, we, you know, had our kids they came with us obviously we're all together as a family. And so we got into our little house in San Diego kind of settled in, got groceries, the lady came and brought that we were renting the waterbirth tub she came she delivered that we just kind of got all cozied into our house my mom was able to come about partway through the month of April. So we chose to be there at the Airbnb for one month because definitely wanted to have some time to be able to rest after the baby was born and recoup as much as possible and not have to just be stressed about rushing, you know, to getting back home to Mexico and having to move out of that Airbnb.

And so we got all settled in my mom got there. We just kind of spent those days those last days leading up to when Everly was born you know going out getting delicious food in San Diego going on walks, you know taking our kids to the park and it really became Such a experience of really just being having to be so intentional to trust my body trust, the intention and the plan of what was going to come to be like with my birth. But I will be honest, like it was, as the days kind of started ticking by and we got, you know, halfway into April and still just like no signs of like going into labor and just was such a had to be so intentional to release that fear and release that anxiety of like, Oh my gosh, like our date is getting closer and having to leave Airbnb and I hand picked a couple of my closest girlfriends, some of them have had home births. Also, all of them are moms and put them into a message thread on Facebook, and I just titled it like my birth support team. And it was so helpful to have those girls to be able to go to and just be like, oh, pray for me today. This is a hard day or, you know, I'm just struggling with this or, you know, having that encouragement from them. And without emotional support was just so huge. So then as we got closer to the 20th, I passed up the final due date, that was kind of my last my last period you date, which was the 23rd, I think of April. And I was definitely having a lot of prodromal labor, which was a new experience for me. I had never had that with my other three kids. And so again, that process of just trusting by the time we like as we were getting closer, you know, to that third week of April, we reached out to the Airbnb people. They're like, Oh, sorry, like this lady. We didn't tell them. We're just like, Can we extend our stay? And they are like, Oh, sorry, you're right. We're already booked up. We have to have you you know, you have to be out because we have guests coming in, like the day that we were checking out. And so I did finally, it was the 25th of April. I was a Sunday morning, we got up and I was like, Oh my gosh, I so for me, I never my water has never broken for being an active labor with my other kids. And so I woke up and I'm like, Oh my gosh, did I just like be myself or did my water, like break. And I definitely feel like I started that Sunday morning to have a little bit of fluid leakage, and started to lose my mucus plug, which for me is always a sign of impending labor. I've always had my kids within 24 hours after that happens. And so I was so encouraged on that Sunday, and just like oh, maybe today is the day. So our family, we went to church, we we got food, we came back I rested on that Sunday afternoon. And by that Sunday evening, I was definitely starting to have more contractions and more things that were kind of making me feel hopeful. Like maybe now I'll actually have my baby like after you've been here for over three weeks at this Airbnb. And so that Sunday night, we put our kids to bed, I definitely was like, Oh, I think tonight might be the night but I was kind of trying to pace myself and not get ahead of myself, you know, emotionally or whatever. And just trust like that process. And so I think it was by about 10 o'clock. At night, we had our kids in bed, and we I was definitely having more contractions. And I was just being so intentional, staying relaxed. And just being in that in the moment, I guess you could say like with each contraction. And by about 11 o'clock that night, I kind of I still hadn't told my husband because I was like I don't want to overhype everybody by this point, my mom was there, my sister was there at Airbnb with us because I had wanted them to be at the birth and so I was just kind of, in my own head, I guess kind of just going through these contractions and just kind of mentally preparing that like, oh, tonight might be tonight. And probably I think was by like 11 o'clock at night I had started kind of timing the contractions and they were definitely, you know, coming consistently, but it was crazy because they didn't feel really painful, which was such a new experience for me and really, you know, be in that moment with those contractions and so my husband was like, do you need to call the midwife and now my midwives were about an hour away from where we were and so thankfully, it was nighttime there wasn't gonna be the big you know, San Diego traffic and stuff and I was like, I don't know I don't want them to drive all the way down here and get here and then it'd be like false labor because I've been having you know, so much kind of pre labor things happening for that week or two leading up to this point. And when my husband saw my contraction timer and like how close they were he's like I'm calling the midwives so he literally got on the phone and call them and kind of talk through with them and within an hour they were at the house and my my sister and my mom and my husband were like filling up the tub and it was just such a it's such a peaceful experience obviously we know that birth is so we have to be so focused right we it is definitely a very it's a very intense job I guess you can say like laboring with our body and getting ready for that baby to be born but I just had a having contractions and our house was just calm. I had my diffuser on and it just it was our kids are sleeping and Oh, it was such a peaceful experience. Like it was such Oh It's just amazing. And so they got the tub filled up and, and they're like, do you want to get in the tub and it was crazy, because I really wasn't experiencing pain, and B intensity maybe I guess that I'd had with my other kids. So it was such a new experience for me. And so but I knew that the water was gonna feel good, because I have done waterbirth with all my other three kids. And immediately as soon as I got into the water, my water broke within like, a couple minutes after being in the water. And I just remember this, like, I was kind of laughing with my midwife, and I'm like, Oh my gosh, like this is just going, this is just going so well. Like it was just such a out of body experience, really, that after having, you know, these different experiences with my other three kids that I was able to be in this moment with my fourth, my fourth and my fourth labor and just having this moment where I'm like, I am ready to give birth to this baby, like this moment of like, just, in my own mind, like thinking that. And I just remember telling myself and like God is I was like praying, and I was like having, like, in all the feelings and all the intensity of birth and just being like, I want 10 more contractions like I, I just want to be here in 10 more contractions. And I think like, as I think if as I talking to other moms, it's like if, if there's anything that that I could share with moms is just, there's so much power in our mindset and and the things the words that we speak over ourselves, the thoughts that we think that I mean in life, just in general, but especially in labor and delivery. So I remember like being in the water, and you know, the contractors are coming in, I'm like I want 10 more contractions, I want this to be here in 10 more contractions. So every contraction that would come, I just started counting down 10 then I'd have a break. And then the next one would come and I'd be like nine and just being so intentional, and you know, having my kind of my affirmations and my prayers and my things that I was being so intentional and just staying in that moment. And I am not even kidding to you kidding with you right now. Like I got to probably for like down to like four or five. And it was like I felt my baby, like come down. And it was just like she was born like within like those 10 contractions. And it was just such a wild experience. And just that reminder again, of how much power we have as women like what our bodies are able to do and what we're created to do. And, and that intention that we set with our mindset to be like, this is the birth experience that I am seeking after, this is the environment I want to have. These are the people I want to have surrounding me These are the words and the truth and belief that I want to have spoken over myself. And I think so much of that starts with us making that conscientious decision of what we want to speak after now of course, we can't control every single aspect. But when she came out and she was in my arms, oh, I'm gonna get emotional, like so I had had a miscarriage. I didn't I don't know if you know this like a year ago. And I just so many times over the last year of waiting and being pregnant. And just like I had, in my mind, this moment that I was just like, what that was going to be like having my baby, sorry, I don't know. But just having like pulling that baby up and on my chest. And just when that moment happened, like truly like I pushed her out and she was in my arms. And it was my mom was able to wake up like my other three kids and they were there and it was just like, Oh, I don't even know how to say but it was just like such a beautiful healing moment and just experience for me. And it was just something that I want every woman to be able to know that they're capable, and have the potential of having that too because it was like I said Stoke healing, especially after a miscarriage. And just after some birth trauma I had with my first son, just knowing like, it can just continue to get better and better and off. It was just oh, I'm just so thankful. Like it was just such an incredible experience.